One day in the fall of 1996, I woke up with severe joint pain in my fingers. I had a difficult time bending them. I went to the doctor, and after running several tests over several months, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. My white blood count was low, my red blood count was low, my platelet count was low, and the Antinuclear Antibody (ANA) Test was positive.
Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease which is highly unpredictable. Each person has their own individual experience with lupus. Some people have joint pain, others have kidney disease (nephritis), and others can get rashes and mouth sores. Lupus can “flare” when one least expects it, even when they feel they are taking care of themselves. Lupus can also be a painful disease. I often had pericarditis, which is inflammation of the pericardium, the lining around the heart. It hurt just to breathe when I had an episode.
However, I feel fortunate that I was able to recover with no active disease by 2002. A co-worker told me about You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay. I read the probable cause for lupus:
A giving up. Better to die than to stand up for one’s self. Anger and punishment.
When I read those words, it was like a bell went off. Since childhood, I was always the one that got picked on. I never defended myself when confronted – I was too afraid to. I really would have rather died than to stand up for myself. This continued until I was diagnosed at 30 years of age. I even had a supervisor who described me as “meek and mild”, even “timid”.
So I went to work on assertiveness right away. By the way, the new thought pattern for lupus is as follows:
I speak up for myself freely and easily. I claim my power. I love and approve of myself. I am free and safe.
I was just beginning to change my state of being. I repeated the affirmation often, and I started to become that assertive person. I asked for what I wanted at work. For example, there was a job that I wanted in the department where I was working. I simply asked for it, and because I was well-liked, they gave it to me. I also started to defend myself if someone confronted me at work. I never had the courage to do that before! It was empowering and far easier than I thought it would be.
Also, I started to meditate around that same time, only for about 15 minutes per day. There are many benefits to meditation. Meditation increases brain wave coherence, which contributes to health and wellness. It also increases focus and reduces stress and anxiety. Since I started meditating, I became a more joyful, happier person. I began to lighten up on myself. I loved myself enough to defend myself when necessary and ask for what I wanted.
Then I hired a personal trainer to improve my physical health. Before I knew it I was getting up in the morning at 4:00 am to go work out in the gym. I never felt better, and that’s when my rheumatologist confirmed I had no active disease and had been that way for quite some time. He simply said, “Whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it!” He also took me off of plaquenil, the medication I was taking for lupus.
Ever since then I have lived a normal, happy, healthy life. However, my ANA test was still positive, and I still had occasional flare ups, even though the disease was not active. Then I discovered the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. I started attending his workshops and got into a habit if meditating 60-90 minutes every morning. He would often say that people healed themselves of diseases like lupus and cancer by meditating. So, I continued attending his workshops and meditating. In August of 2015, after two years, I saw my rheumatologist. She ran a battery of tests, all particular to lupus. They were all normal. Best of all, the ANA test came back negative!! The disease had finally left my body for good. I haven’t had any symptoms since June of 2015. It’s like I never had lupus. My former rheumatologist had even questioned if I had lupus at all! Finally, he did conclude, that what happened to me in 1996, and the few years following it, was significant. I definitely was diagnosed correctly with lupus.
It is my desire to help others with my story, so I wrote Speak Your Truth: How You Can Recover from Lupus. If it even helps one person heal from disease, I will be overjoyed. I am grateful I had the tools to recover. Know that you have everything you need biologically and neurologically from disease. You just need to be willing to do the work.